Week 3 Reflection: Part 2

Carnegie’s HOW TO INFLUENCE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE was assigned because it is the core of management and by extension managing teams and projects. Carnegie explains, reflects and analyzes how following his principles will allow you to have smoother conversations and better working teams and environments. I think every management course should require Carnegie as reading, it is the basis of good communication. And good communication leads to good team dynamics and working environments.

Carnegie will influence me going forward by trying to incorporate all of his principles into my daily and professional life. Each of these principles allows individuals to be better communicators and I hope to expand upon them and start incorporating more of them. There are definitely principles that Carnegie addresses that I really want to expand upon and start incorporating into my businesses and personal life.

One principle that I really want to work on is from Part 4: Let the other person save face. I am very competitive and at types very cut-throat person. I am also not afraid to take what I want and make the best of it. This makes me a bit savage at times. I honestly believe that I know how NOT to waste opportunities. However, by being a cut-throat individual person this can mean people can get thrown under and not be able to save themselves. I want to work on allowing people to save face in situations that they are in. I still think it is important to be competitive and savage however, I want to make sure people get a chance to save themselves, so maybe, they can not waste the opportunity they have been given.

Week 3 Reflection: Part 1

I remember when I was about 10 or 11 years old my father required that my sister and I read HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by Dale Carnegie. At the time I complained because what 11 year old wants to read a boring book about influencing people – ew. When I was 11 I only finished about half of it because I am pretty sure there was a softball game I had to go too but, when I was about 15 I re-read the book. When I was 15 I found this book profound a classic and I still do to this day.

The principles that Dale Carnegie teaches and expounds upon on [to me] are the same principles that my grandmother taught me and her grandmother before her and for many generations before. Plainly, Carnegie wrote a book that essentially tells you to be a good person. But, the tactics he took to write this book is what makes it so profound. To be able to boil ‘a good person’ into four parts that each have their own principles is ingenious to me and not only that Carnegie’s principles can be carried into every single part of your life and business.

I have been incorporating Carnegie’s principles in my life since I was 15 years old. There are three main principles that I love and follow. These three principles have proven to be very effective in my life and have ultimately lead me to clients, speaking opportunities and working relationships.

The first is from Part 1: Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation, I believe to my core that by giving honest feedback and being sincere will show a real authenticity about who you are. This has been changed the course of many discussions I have been a part of because I was able, to be honest, and sincere. When I work people, they don’t want a *hit-filled-sandwich, they want real, sincere and honest feedback – that is how they move forward in their business.

Second is from Part 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”, everyone loves to point fingers and call people out on their own opinions – in business – I find it a waste of time and inconsiderate- also bad business. Respecting a person’s opinions is the first part of any and all work relationships that I am apart of. There is no way I am going to tell someone they are wrong – I am going to explain and different path and explain why mine is the best course or how we can incorporate the two together. By pointing out someone is wrong leads them to believe that you are not a respectful and easy person to work with – they will think you are cocky and full of yourself. This is not something you want your clients to think of you as.

Lastly is from Part 4: Is, ask questions instead of giving direct orders. I love the questions that people ask! I find them the best way to grow and explain processes or systems. Questions are the way business conversations move forward and allow for honest and open dialogue. If you sit in a business meeting with me – I ask questions and I encourage my clients and my potential clients to ask as many questions as they want and as many as they need to be answered.

Carnegie transformed my way of thinking and my of acting with his profound book. I am sure I would have figured out all of these principles sooner or later – however, Carnegie explains it and reflects on situations that allow me to a better friend and be able to influence people.

Week 2 Reflection

When I was younger I learned the very hard lesson that ‘Life isn’t fair’ and it changed me from that moment on. So, when I have to analyze bias and societies bias – I find it quite irritating and frustrating. Every single person, no matter who they are, has a bias (and probably has many of them) but, those biases are apart of who we are. I am a white, middle-class, college-educated, female and I don’t care who or what you are. Bias is a barnacle on the a** of progress. I instead look at the facts. That is all I care about.

I run a company and am starting my second while being an undergraduate student and every day I have to deal with bias. Every day my clients question me, my company and my work because I am a 20-something, female with blonde hair. Every moment of my life I have to push through personal bias. Bias is an innate part of who we are and I personally don’t see why it helps us to understand when we are biased because it doesn’t change anything.

However, for my management class, we read Overcoming Bias and had to complete the activities.

Activity 1: Job Association
Used Car Salesman: Father
Politician: Elected
Lawyer: Court
Teacher: Education
Doctor: Medicine

What comes to mind for me are facts about each of these jobs. Used Car Salesmen are Fathers because of the wording the activity used. If it would have said ‘Used Car Saleswoman’ I would have said, Mother. I don’t let my emotions and bias dictate what I think.

Activity 2: Implicit Association Test

I think this test is completely bias itself. When the test showed pictures of Donald Trump it then used negative words behind the picture and used positive words after Recent Presidents. My political position on recent presidents and Donald Trump cannot be determined from clicking keys on a keyboard. My political affiliation and/or opinions are based on the facts of the president’s presidency.

Activity 3: Personalization

For this activity, I felt a little out of place, however, I focused on my hot button issues and I get irritated and upset. Though, I don’t believe my irritation from this activity is a result of not consciously dealing with my issues.

Activity 4: Devils Advocate

When I was in high school and on the debate team we had to debate issues we didn’t agree with quite often. However, for this exercise, I debated with my sister. She debated on behalf of lower taxes and I debated on behalf of higher taxes. The debate was frustrating however, it didn’t last very long because my sister had a hard time debating an argument she didn’t agree with.

Activity 5: Get Out of the Zone

I actually used a pass time that I was the minority in the room. Last May, I spoke at an event in front of Small Business Owners and I was the youngest and the only female in the room. I was asked many times “How am I able to run a business and go to school at the same time?” “How are you qualified to run a business and go to school?” “How does a girl like you run a business?” I was humiliated. But, it taught me a very important lesson and that is to always put my disadvantages out first, so then nobody can use them against me.

Activity 6: The Power of Privilege TedX Talk

I watched this talk a few months ago and I really enjoyed it. I think she explains privilege in a way that resonates with people.

Activity 7: Diversity Inventory

After doing this activity I realized how many people I have around me who are much older than me. However, I have people very close to me who come from all types of backgrounds; African, Black, White, Indian, Male, Trans, Female, Japanese, Chinese, Thai, British and many others. However, I did realize that the people around me are very similar to me in ambition and drive.

Activity 8: Cultural Inventory

From this activity I learned that I read a lot of articles and books from middle aged white men but watch movies and TV shows with old and young men and women from all background.

Activity 9: Question Your Assumptions

I could not get the link to work. I will try another time.

Activity 10: Listening Lunch

I went to lunch with my grandmother for this activity and found that if I listened to her carefully I was able to see that she has many biases towards many people. The biases she has however, impact her whole life. It is quite awful how impactful her biases are and how they impact her.

Overcoming Bias was an interesting book to read and the assessments showed me a different light about bias around us. It is about how I process it, so, from now on I am going to be more conscious of others and what they are saying.

Week 1 Reflection

I was introduced to Simon Sinek’s How Great Leaders Inspire Action TedTalk many years ago and since being introduced I have found his speech quite transformative. Simon Sinek explores the question of “Why?” through out his speech and I belive that his speech acurately expresses how leaders inspire action across all discplines and during all time periods. His explanation of the Golden Circle, brings to life the idea of why an indivdual would be more prone to follow a call of action from a business (or indivdual(s) that explains why they do what they do (ex. Apple) instead of following a call to action to explains what they do. I think when you analzye how to inspire action amongst a group of people, proving why they should care is a better tactic to take instead of what you do. Explain why, allows individuals to understand the importance of what they do thus, inspiring action.

In Jeff Boss’ “How Great Learners Stay Smart: 16 Ways to Stay on the Cutting Edge” acticle he explores 16 ways to learner smart and more effeciently. I think the most important lesson to take out of Boss’ article is that he refers to learners as ‘smart learners’ and does not attach an explanation of who the ‘smart learner’ is. I think this is very important and cricial to his article. A smart learner is anyone who takes the time to learn through smart tactics. In Boss’ case, he belives that the 16 ways he express are tacktics to use to stay smart and learn smarter. He doesn’t imply that a ‘smart learner’ is a A+ student, or a Valecditorian, he expresses a smart learner as someone who takes time to effectiently and effectively learn smarter. I think this creates for a stronger article because indivduals can be very intelligent and know how to learn however may not be A+ students, instead they may be C/D students. By not attaching a personna to a smart learner I think allows readers to compare and contrast how they learn vs. his 16 ways to stay on the cutting edge.

I have been implementing Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle ideas into my daily life and it has proved to be quite relevant and very transformative. I can’t wait to implement Boss’ 16 learning tactics into my daily life and see what happens!